'Penelope hasn’t answered my calls': Daughter refuses to speak to mother after theater faux pas spoils the show

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 5, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

This mom is taking family participation a bit too far. This woman wrote to r/AmItheA**hole to share her story and ask for people's opinions, but she's definitely not going to like the answers she's receiving in the comments. 

As the OP, u/Thick-Studio-4277, shared in her post, her daughter Penelope is 12 years old, and she has a spring show that she was performing in. The OP didn't really take this show seriously, which is a big mistake on her part! Preteens take things like that very seriously. After all, lots of students spend hours rehearsing and stay after school for daily rehearsal sessions for months in the lead-up to the event. 

This parent decided to attend her daughter's show with a newborn in tow. Why did she thought this was a good idea? She tried to justify the decision, but it might take some time for Penelope to forgive her. 

Next, this woman has an update on the situation with the boss who tried to steal her first-class flight from her. 

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    Cheezburger Image 9770372096
    via team voyas on Unsplash
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    Cheezburger Image 9770354944
    via u/Thick-Studio-4277
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    Font - Penelope is in the theater program at her school. I missed the fall shows because I was in labor and then had a newborn. Penelope understood as best a preteen girl can. Her spring show opened last week. Chris and Lyla came with me. Will, Jonny and Will's wife "Ariana" were already there. Will saw I brought Lyla and got a weird look about him but Ariana hushed him and said "just let it go".
    via u/Thick-Studio-4277
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    Font - Lyla slept through the first half. A little before intermission, she awoke and was fussy. I began rocking her and trying to calm her while also watching the play. I got a few dirty looks from parents around me. I gave them a "what can you do" shrug, as it's a baby. At intermission, Will suggested Chris take Lyla home. I said she should sleep during the second half and Chris said he wanted to watch the performance. Will started getting upset but again, Ariana had him walk away.
    via u/Thick-Studio-4277
  • 05
    Font - Lyla did fall asleep again. But halfway through Act II, woke up and started screaming. It was loud enough this time that it did catch the performers off guard. I quickly went into the lobby with Lyla. When I tried to go back in once she calmed, the usher wouldn't let me, saying once a person leaves, they're not allowed in to prevent interruptions. Meaning, I missed Penelope's solo.
    via u/Thick-Studio-4277
  • 06
    Font - Penelope refused to see me after the show nor accept the flowers we bought for her. I watched her leaving with Ariana, who was consoling her. Will met me in the parking lot. He was pied. He said I never should've brought Lyla, pointing out he and Ariana got a sitter for their young child. I said I didn't want to leave Lyla and felt it was good we all supported her. After missing the fall show, I wanted to be there for my daughter. I added it was just a middle school performance, it isn't
    via u/Thick-Studio-4277
  • 07
    Font - Penelope hasn't answered my calls or text. This weekend, she refused to come over. Chris thinks we were in the right, but my parents are just as ped and called me an a. AITA?
    via u/Thick-Studio-4277
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    Font - morgaine125 Pooperintendant [56] YTA. That was not an appropriate place to bring a baby, so you should have gotten a sitter. Lyla didn't know what as going on, and certainly wasn't supporting her sister. And if you were going to insist on bringing her, Chris should have held her and been prepared to step out if she got fussy so that you didn't miss any part of Penelope's performance. You sent a loud and clear message that your new family with Chris is more important than your older childr
    via u/morgaine125
  • 09
    Font - [deleted] YTA Good parents take their unruly children out of the venue to be considerate. You waited until you were a problem, instead of acting quickly. I got a few dirty looks from parents around me. I gave them a "what can you do" shrug, as it's a baby. "What can you do?" You should have got out of your seat and taken the baby out of the venue.
    via u/deleted
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    Font - CrystalQueen3000 Prime Ministurd [438] "AITA for bringing my baby to my daughters performance and missing her solo?" There, fixed it for you and yes YTA
    via u/CrystalQueen3000
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    Font - + moyir90 YTA performances like that are so important to young girls. I don't know why Chris couldn't take her Lyla home since this is your daughter's solo. It would have been best to have gotten a sitter for a couple of hours.
    via u/moyir90
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    Font - Plane-Lavishness. So you prioritized the wants of: yourself, a baby, and your new husband all over your 12 year old daughter. And you wonder why she won't take your calls!? You put her needs last!
    via u/Plane-Lavishness
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    Font - heartbrekker A Aficionado [15] YTA. First, Lyla is a baby and can't support anyone. You, however, are Penelope's mother and should do whatever you can to appropriately support her. Such as having the foresight to get a babysitter, or having your husband take charge of the screaming baby. Second, it's just awful that you've dismissed something so clearly important to Penelope as "just a middle school performance." At 12, a solo performance is likely one of the biggest moments of her life s
    via u/heartbrekker
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    Rectangle - Sad-Leopards YTA. 100% No one comes to a play to hear someone else's baby cry. You disrespected the efforts of the performers, disrupted the show, missed your daughter's solo, upset the other parents around you, upset the people you are meant to be co-parenting with, likely upset your own baby, etc.
    via u/Sad-Leopards
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    Font - Why would your daughter need or want the support of an infant who obviously would have no clue what's going on. That's bs you are telling yourself. You could have come alone. You could have gotten a sitter. You put your own feelings over your daughter, the work of the performers, and the other families who you interrupted there to see their own kids. I wouldn't come over anymore if I was your daughter. What's the point? You've proven exactly who and what your priorities are. 2.4k Reply Sh
    via u/Sad-Leopards
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    Font - Music_with Rocks_In Professor Emerita [81] YTA. 1)Babies don't belong at the theater -ever. It is not a wedding or a family event, babies cry and should not be there.
    via u/Music_with Rocks_In
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    Font - 2) If the baby needed to be taken out, your husband, who was not the parent of one of the children in the play, should have taken the baby - not you. Frankly the fact that he wasn't willing to stay home with the baby OR take the baby home when the baby started getting fussy OR be the one hold the baby so you could focus on your daughter's performance OR take the baby out gives me a huge amount of side eye and makes me think he isn't willing to put in any extra effort with the baby at all.
    via u/Music_with Rocks_In
  • 18
    Product - Fritos Rule As Aficionado [10] Try this on Broadway or the Opera etc, see what happens.
    via u/FritosRule
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    Font - busyshrew A Enthusiast [5] Sorry OP, you clearly burnt a bridge with your daughter. You should have had Chris take Lyla away, immediately, when she started to fuss. Why did YOU leave when you knew it something important to Penelope? And your dismissive attitude is hurtful. Wow, what a great way to diminish and demean a child's accomplishments...... It's a good thing Penelope isn't speaking to you atm, I can only imagine the type of apology-no- apology you'd give. Give you head a shake OP.
    via u/busyshrew
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    Font - ItsAbout Resilience. OP, it seems to me that you and your current husband have gotten yourselves into a kind of echo chamber. You are each reinforcing one another that your detached behavior from your older children is totally normal, that Will is behaving poorly, and that your children's frustrations are just childish temper tantrums. You are wrong.
    via u/ItsAboutResilience
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    Font - If you hear nothing else from this thread, please just hear this: what you and Chris have convinced yourself is "fine" and normal isn't loving parenting. Please find sounding boards other than Chris, because your barometer for normalcy is off and needs a reset. Your parents might be a good start, if they're still willing to help you.
    via u/ItsAboutResilience

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family drama aita baby school mother call performance show loud daughter mom crying children
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